


My first love, my clumsy love.

by orphan_account



Category: GOT7
Genre: Canon Compliant, Firsts, M/M, im bad at tagging honestly, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 21:49:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7548421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ten times Yugyeom saw Bambam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My first love, my clumsy love.

**Author's Note:**

> tbh i know this is really bad but i also feel like i should post things if write them sooo. hopefully ill get better
> 
> Okay so, there are two sex scenes but they aren't explicit. This is also unedited, and very short. Probably, not too great either. I listened to Astro and got in my feelings. Let me know if you're into Bambam's version. I have a few ideas, but im not sure if anyone wants it.
> 
> **EDIT: I changed the first half of this fic because I'm lame, just so you guys know.

When he sees Kunpimook Bhuwakul for the first time, they are strangers but there is something about him that makes Yugyeom somehow okay with sharing a room with someone he'd never met, and even more pressing, can barely communicate with. The boy greets him nicely, half in Thai half in broken Korean, and it embarrasses Yugyeom when he realizes how cute the broken language is. He knows the boy is trying to be polite because he's seen a million Thai dramas, and subtitles have given him enough to know greetings so he quickly gives his best try at a greeting in Thai which ends up with the other erupting in laughs that are sweet and high before saying his name, only after the lost look Yugyeom gives, he ends up smiling and telling him a secondary name, "BamBam."

When he sees Bambam for the second time, he despises him. Yugyeom had never thought of himself as inferior when it came to dance. He won competitions, he was good. But, no one in the company told him how good he was. He didn't get compliments or endless love. At first, he didn't think about it, but soon Bambam was showered with a compliment. Yugyeom could swear they'd compliment him for eating a piece of meat like it was him making the world spin. Of course, he knew Bambam was good. He was always with Bambam, there was no escaping his talent when everyone assumed because they were the same age, they'd get along and should be paired. But none of it was worse than his smiling face, always right there using cute broken Korean to tell Yugyeom about a cute girl on a drama, or telling Yugyeom how good he was at dancing. Bambam was annoyingly perfect. So much like Yugyeom, but to Yugyeom himself, all he saw was the best parts of him amplified in Bambam. Bambam with round cheeks, like Yugyeom's own, but he was short and thin exactly the opposite of him. And so maybe half of Yugyeom's annoyances came from how much he liked Bambam, but there was also the loud voice he heard before bed as he spoke to his mom on the phone, and how the girls all flocked to pinch his cheeks, where girls or boys never paid attention to Yugyeom. 

When he sees his best friend for the third time, he is sitting next to him on the floor, heavy breathing coming from both of them as they come down from the adrenaline of practice. Bambam says something, he doesn't understand half of what he actually says, but he's laughing with him anyway because it's just him that makes him feel so light. Suddenly, Yugyeom can't remember why a few months ago he would be happy if he woke up to the kid back in Thailand, because now nothing would hurt him more. Bambam may be too perfect, but he's also funny, and too kind, and likes to fill silences when Yugyeom doesn't know what to say and texts him even when they are in the same room, so he might just learn to be okay with perfection if it means he never stops getting weird texts from across the room.

When he sees Bambam Hyung for the fourth time, Yugyeom is surprised. He hadn't wanted Bam to know he'd been crying, so when he heard the door to their room begin to open, he quieted down and hid his face. But, best friends aren't fooled so easily and pretty soon there he is, right beside Yugyeom. Yugyeom doesn't say everything, he knows its too dangerous to tell someone he might have to work with for years that he's bisexual, something he sometimes can't even tell himself. He says only enough to piece an unclear puzzle of a male trainee and being left, it's too much yet too little because he's crying as he tells Bam. But he knows he understands, because there are tentative arms around him and assurances and whispers of "he's an asshole". Despite being his best friend for a while now, it still shocks him that the boy he usually recognizes is no where to be found, on contrary the boy next to him is caring and quiet and there is even a protective hold on him. So maybe the name doesn't make many appearances afterwards, but it is the first time he calls his friend hyung, and Bambam looks flattered, and maybe it makes his heart beat go faster, but it's only because Bambam is family, his best friend.

When he sees his crush for the fifth time, it's in their dorm room. Bambam practicing some girl group dance in between their beds. Yugyeom watches, mostly in amusement, until the moves turn sexual in a way that Yugyeom can't explain, and it's no longer funny because he's staring at his best friend's ass, and then his thighs, and then he can barely breath because he looks better than any girl or boy whose ever done the same dance. He can barely compose himself enough to throw his pillow at Bam, stopping the dance and turning to banter to get over the moment.  
Yugyeom would like to deny that his mind reverts back to when he was a fourteen year old and discovered porn for the first time, constantly thinking about sex—yet, worse, it's sex with someone who sleeps in the same room with him, someone who knows his every thought, someone who has wrestled with him half naked because he trusts that Yugyeom isn't attracted to him. Of course, Yugyeom would be the one to find a straight friend who doesn't pester him and ruin it by becoming a pervert.—in the strangest and most embarrassing times, and then it gets worse—better?—because suddenly, Bambam is really kissing him and he tastes too much like soda and pizza and it's disgusting because it's all so aggressive and American tastes, but there is something Bambam in the middle of it that makes him keep kissing him, and they wake up in the morning pressed against each other, shirtless and embarrassed.

When he sees his boyfriend for the sixth time, Yugyeom feels vulnerable under him. Legs apart and on each side of Bam. The size difference is almost unbearably noticeable, and while it's been a while since he felt ashamed of his bigger body, it's rushing back to him. He tries to focus on the towel under him, or even the just right pain of having his boyfriend inside of him, but all he can see his Bambam, small and pretty. Dark skin even falling in contrast to his paler shade, the way Bambams fingers grip onto the skin of his thighs make them look bigger than usual and he's embarrassed. But then, Bambam is kissing him before he starts being Bambam, even in a moment like this. "That's my boy," his voice is raspy and if Yugyeom had to describe it, all he could say is sex. "That's my boy." His voice is sending arousal through his body, and then the Bambam he knows is making an appearance "You look so good. If I didn't have on eyeliner, I'd cry." And then they are laughing, because Bambam knows. And so maybe it isn't the sexiest way to start sex, laughing until it feels so good it turns to moans. So maybe Yugyeom falls a little harder that night, giving himself over like that is one part, but mostly its the way they laugh at a time like that, and after they are cuddling, and the way Bambam kisses him and tells him that he's perfect.

When he sees his boyfriend for the seventh time, it's after they win some award. Yugyeom can't remember whats happening because his ears fill with claps and then he's celebrating with his family. He jumps with Youngjae, and feels Jackson and Mark hug him, and sees a mess of bodies he knows is Bambam, Jinyoung, and Jaebum. But afterwards, they are in cars going home, coming down from their highs. And Bambam is next to him, a subtle arm around his waist. Suddenly, the light from the flashes is catching Bam beautifully, and he leans over and whispers "I love you." He stays by his ear for a moment, scared. It's their first time using the word relationship wise. But Bambam squeezes his side, and once they are in their dorms, hidden from the others Bambam is promising things left and right while they kiss, but all Yugyeom hears is 'I love you too' a dozen times, in different ways.

When he sees his drama queen for the eighth time, he's looking up at him. Bambam is on top of him, and annoyingly enough, is completely naked except for the full face of makeup. When they were getting ready, Bambam had started making his demands.  
"I want to ride you instead." He's whining, but it still makes Yugyeom blush, and that was how Yugyeom ended up laying awkwardly under his boyfriend. They don't get to do this often, that's for sure. They may be young, but they respect their hyungs enough not to go that far with them in the dorm. So it usually comes down to hand jobs in secret, and sometimes blowjobs if they had enough time. The last time they did this was their first almost a year ago. And of course, the one time they get the dorm to theirselves it's one of the days Bambam chooses to be a diva. Complaints of a pimple is the reason he insists keeping on his foundation, even after it leaves behind color on the bottom of Yugyeom's white shirt. But it's not only that, it's just his whole personality. So maybe he becomes a little bit of an asshole and keeps his eyes closed and instead of interacting with Bambam, he just grips his waist. But of course, Bam isn't having any of that and then somehow they end up with Bambam on his knees, back against Yugyeoms chest and a hand around his jaw as they kiss, too much tongue and biting. It's rough, and so much more than they've ever done. And maybe afterwards, Yugyeom says sorry, but he also catches Bambam checking out the marks he left in the mirror with a smile. He knows they can't do it again, there is too much of a risk. But, there is something about the way Bambam cuddles into him that lights something inside Yugyeom.

When he sees his ex for the ninth time, it's only been two days since the fight. So far, Yugyeom has been sleeping in Youngjae's room. The fight had ended with Yugyeom pushing Bambam off of him, yelling and storming out. But now, it's quiet. There is no music booming through the dorm, or crying through his yells. Yugyeom had never been the type to blow up, he always stayed calm while others got heated. But something about the situation had set him off. Bambam looks wrecked when he finally locks eyes with him. Yugyeom's going to say something when Bambam's voice comes out, shaky.  
"I love you, and I am so sorry. This is all my fault and I hate staying away from you like this. I didn't think. I didn't want his friends to think we were—"  
Yugyeom cuts him off, anger evident in his voice. "But we are. You don't get to say something like that when you're dating someone. Especially not with those words while you're dating a guy." When he sees the tears come out of Bambam's eyes, he has to admit he's tempted to stop, to just kiss him and say it's okay. But, instead he stands his ground.  
"I know, I just wanted to be... I don't know. Yugyeom, I'm sorry. I can't make excuses."  
Maybe he isn't ready to jump right back to where they were, but Yugyeom can't help but put his arms around his best friend.

When he sees his boyfriend for the tenth time, it's their anniversary. It's been seven years of dating, and even more of just each other. Technically, there is a two month period in which they were broken up, but it's not as important than the years are.  
Three years ago, they told a room of five of their most important family members they were dating. Jackson claims he's always known, which was expected, but even Jaebum teases them saying they knew.  
Last year, when they visited Thailand, Yugyeom was introduced as boyfriend and there was the scariest moment of silence before Bambams mother is hugging Yugyeom and he thinks he hears Baby talking to Bambam, but suddenly everything feels too good to be real.  
Five months ago, they go to Yugyeom's home. And when he introduces Bambam as boyfriend, his heart swells with pride because he knows he is nervous, but Bam isn't showing that at all. Of course, not everything is perfect. He knows some of the people who have been told have had their opinions, but most smile nicely and keep it to themselves. His mother simply says "I need more time." Before asking them to leave. Nothing has ever hurt more, but he understands.  
So maybe there is still one person that gives no well wishes on their anniversary, but Bambam is there when he sees Yugyeom check his phone. And later, Bambam is there to make jokes and dance with him, but even more it's about how he doesn't leave him alone all night and he sees the same Bambam he saw comfort him the night after his first breakup. Finally, he realizes how thankful he really is for the years with his best friend. Maybe if they lived somewhere else, he thinks, this would be the moment he chooses to propose on the spot because he doesn't deserve Bambam, but he doesn't want anyone else to have him. Though, he loves where he is, and he loves his band. So maybe instead, he says quiet prayer before he's back at Bambam's side, smiling.  
"If a crush that lasts more than four months is love, and a friendship that lasts more than seven years will last a lifetime, does that mean our love will last that long too?"


End file.
